Another simple way of being happy is just letting all of the bad stuff out. Telling someone what's making you unhappy really can help - they may not be able to help you with the problem, but at least you're not sat there keeping it to yourself - that can only make things worse.
The obvious person to talk to would be a family member or good friend, someone who you trust, feel comfortable around and someone you know you'll be able to be completely open with. As I said, it stops you from just repeating it in your own head, and can offer a different perspective to the issue. This person may be able to offer you advice, this person may guide you to the solution, this person may not be to help but will do their absolute best to cheer you up and make you feel better. Don't be afraid to tell your friends that you are unhappy. If you've got a great group of friends they'll understand, they'll make you smile and they'll be there. I made the mistake of just faking happiness when I went through my really bad anxiety ordeal, and it got to the point where every day I was faking the smile, trying to stay brave, but I felt worse for it in the long run.
If the problem is more severe - if maybe you're suffering from depression or anxiety - then you may want to speak to someone professional like a doctor. A doctor may diagnose you and offer you some short-term medical help, but hopefully will refer you to see a therapist or a counsellor. There's no shame in seeing one, and they can really help you find your feet again and sometimes give you the answers you've been wanting to know... like 'why is this happening?' I had counselling for a couple of months, with a lovely lady called Eileen, and found out that a reason I was so anxious about my health was because I felt like I was losing control of my own body. I felt safest when I was in control of everything, and we managed to find ways in which I could lose control a little, and let things go and soon I was back to being happy. It may take time, but go in with an open mind and you will see results.
Of course, if things are private, or you really don't feel comfortable talking about it with someone you can always write it down. You're still getting it out but you can keep it hidden somewhere so no ones sees. If I'm feeling a bit down about something, and maybe no-one's online or it's too complicated and long to text someone about, I'll log on to my blog and just write a post about how sad I was feeling, or rant about something, and then just leave it as a draft. I've deleted some that have been quick and no use to anyone, mainly when loads of things have gone wrong and I've just had a bad day or something, but there are others I've kept to maybe post in the future, or refer to if I feel like that again, as I'll be able to see that it does get better.
One thing I was (and still am a little) sceptical to post is some songwriting I've done. I've always enjoyed writing and creating things, and one of my favourite things to do is take fan-made instrumentals and that from YouTube and just write lyrics to them, about anything. During my rough patch though, I wrote a few quite personal songs, that I did show a few people but I never really made public but here goes:
A song I wrote which was simply called Anxiety (click here) was written about my first time rushing into A&E, after having a terrible panic attack and thinking it was a heart attack. It then goes on to the worrying afterwards, and the second time I found myself in A&E, and how I needed to control myself. 'The End' (click here) was me telling myself to stop worrying about everything or I'll make myself ill and it could end up really badly.
Later on I wrote a song about having a panic attack. I found an instrumental on YouTube that was very full on and had this siren effect over it which I felt was very fitting. Panic Stations (click here) describes both the mental and physical effects of a panic attack, during the panic attack. Finally, and probably my favourite song, is No Room At The Inn (click here.) It was the hardest to write and to be honest I didn't finish it until I found it a few weeks ago, and felt like I needed to finish it. It's simply about going through something awful, something that's ruining your life, but you don't want your friends to help and end even though they really want to help, you end up pushing them away, no matter how hard they try. +At times I felt like I was doing this with my friends, and thought that just because I'm having a hard time doesn't mean they should too, especially if they were currently happy - I just didn't want to ruin their mood.
Even now, 18 months later, as I'm just about to click Publish, I feel this sense of relief that I've got it all out there, I know the post took a rather depressing turn towards the end, but I hope you can take away from this the fact that bottling it up is not the answer, and there are several ways you can get it out...
I asked a friend what they thought about it:
'Well I find it hard to open up to people and let out my feelings and get stuff off my chest, but by not opening up, sometimes it can just just make things worse. That's what your friends are there for - to help you when you're in need. I've tried loads of ways, some of which I'm not proud of and some that are stupid, but a good way I find is to write them down even if its just for you to see it all in black and white. Being able to re read them can give you some kind of understanding when your mind settles and you calm your self down (we've all sat and cried whilst writing whether its texting someone or writing in a journal...)'
The links for those songs you wrote don't work any more? Would you mind emailing me at aldavey95@gmail.com with the links or something? I could def do with reading/listening to these xx
ReplyDeleteOops, I forgot to change them when I moved over, they should work now! :D
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